Hi me!
It has been a long time, I didn't write on this special blog! I'm glad to know that nobody is following it so,never mind. I'm finally just talking to myself. Well, writing to myself what I need to say to somebody else.
It's not that, I have nobody to talk to but I don't feel like understood by anyone to whom I can talk and specially for some topics which I can't discuss cause it's not allowed!
2011 is such a great year for everybody on earth, as I noticed! I've been experiencing new circumstances that made my life unhappy and complicated. Those long 5 months exhausted me.
I feel like I was leaving in a dream and somebody just came and woke me up, to make me face the reality. Many things have nothing to do with what I was prepared to, or even thought it will be like. Completely different!
I never felt so weak in my life like I did. And just because It happens that I'm actually a Woman and not a man!!
A terrible feeling! I'm still feeling hurt. I don't think I'll be cured.
I can't even take part of a discussion as an adult. "I make people angry by my words". I'm not a good speaker, but I was a very good one before. I don't know why I changed to a noisy person some months after the big day!
I don't say that I'm an angel. No, sure I'm just a human being, with both qualities (I hope so!) and many defaults.
I used to have my own personality, own way to do things, say, plan and more. Now, I've got to shut up and follow!  We had so many good times before. And now, I'm drowning in sadness!
Is that real life? Do I have to accept it the way it is and just move on. That would kill me. I just can't.
Maybe if I just stop thinking, turned to an illiterate person, stay at home, lose all contact with the world meaning, no tv (but you I watch RTM, which will make me dumber) and  no internet. Of course, I had to break all the relationship I have with my friends also. This could help to make me shut up and follow! But even though I will die instantly! So That wouldn't work.
Any ideas?
Please help!!!